Uncommon Grounding

"My bass feels seaworthy." -What's Her Face, Teen Girl Squad #8

It's been a busy last few days. I just got back from two days in Chicago (more on this in a minute) and Sharon and I have something every night this week (which is way busier than Chicago was) so I'm a little frazzled. Sharon's a little freaked out about the start of school, and work isn't going as well for me as I'd like, and we're trading some cold around the family, so... there you go.

This week I actually helped out with the worship team at Fellowship Community Church, playing... bass. I think it's kinda funny how whenever I get involved in a new worship team, they always need the instrument I play that I've played least recently. But it worked out well once I adjusted and remembered a few things (I still keep thinking the highest string is an E, even though that makes no sense, just because I've played guitar too long) and it's been fun to pick up again. I'm gonna pimp the PodXT a little; I bought the thing two or three four (sheesh, having a kid really distorts your sense of time) years ago (when it was brand new) when I was playing a little more electric guitar. A year or so later I really needed something to help me EQ my acoustic live differently for different songs, so I bought the floor pedal to help me lead worship with it. Now, many years later, it's just a little money and I get all the bass amp modeling on it without buying new hardware. Ah... if only every electronics purchase was like that.

While in Chicago, I went to open mic night at Uncommon Ground, and let me tell you that was fun. I never went while we lived in Chicago (for a dozen reasons that are either totally obvious to those reading this or that I don't have the space to go in to now) and I'm a little sad I never did. I really really like live music. I always have. That open mic is sorta what I always hoped the Hyde Park Christian Songwriters' Group would be (since there was very little audience that weren't performing or close friends of one of the performers) or the coffeehouse I tried to run for a little while at Hyde Park Alliance. There's something both more forgiving and more intense about a live performance; music is more itself live.

I know why (well, some of it) God didn't take my life that direction, and for the most part (not all) I'm glad for it. I like being able to do the other things I do, and I like the life Sharon, Asher, and I have together. But it does make me wonder if that part of me is really gone. I have so few expectations for it, and I have (mostly) made peace with God about that. I just don't know anymore that it's worth it; every time I turn and try to embrace doing anything semi-serious with music (other than worship leading) it just always turns out so disappointing or it never turns out at all. It's hard to look back at the pattern of your life like that and say anything other than "I guess it's not God's will." But if so, then why do I care so much?

I said I wasn't gonna get into it, and I did anyway. Well, the self-pity is over for now. The sun is shining, my code is transforming terrabytes of archive data as we speak, and tonight I get to dress up and go out with my wife (even if it is with people I don't know.) Life is good.