Asher's Stuffed Friend
Asher has named his stuffed crocodile. His name is Crockies. Yes. There is only one, but his name is a plural.
The following conversation takes place on the way home from preschool, 3:03 PM:
Asher: Daddy, Crockies birthday is December 3rd.
me: Okay.
Asher: It's always in winter. So it's December 3rd.
me: Okay, but...
Asher: Then his birthday is January 12th!
me: Because January 12th is in winter?
Asher: Yes.
me: So it's not December 3rd?
Asher: Yes, it's December 3rd.
me: But I thought you said it was January 12th. Most people only have one birthday.
Asher: He has one birthday.
me: On January 12th?
Asher: On December 3rd. Then January 12th.
me: But that's two birthdays.
Asher (rolling his eyes): Maybe I didn't explain it to you very well.
me: Is it one birthday split over two days?
Asher (sighing): No. Let me explain it to you again.
(note: I'm not making this up. This is how he talks now.)
Asher (slowly):His birthday is December 3rd. Then, a little later, in the winter, on January 12th, he has his birthday.
me: Oh I see. (Though, obviously, I don't.)
me: Does he have his birthday one day, but celebrate it later?
Asher (clearly annoyed): NO. His birthday is December 3rd.
me: Then what happens on January 12th?
Asher: That's his birthday!
me: Then what happens on December 3rd?
Asher: Crockies has his birthday.
me: I only have one birthday - March 24th.
Asher: So does Crockies. It's December 3rd.
me: Not January 12th?
Asher (sighing again): I guess I'm not explaining it very well.
me: I think you're doing fine... I'm just not understanding it very well.
Asher: It's easy daddy. His birthday is on December 3rd. Then... later... because his birthday is in the winter... January 12th is his birthday.
me: Oh. (I'm still pretty lost.)
Asher: Do you get it now?
me: His birthday is December 3rd. His birthday is January 12th.
Asher (excitedly): YES!
I never knew post-modern relativism was taught at his day care.
The following conversation takes place on the way home from preschool, 3:03 PM:
Asher: Daddy, Crockies birthday is December 3rd.
me: Okay.
Asher: It's always in winter. So it's December 3rd.
me: Okay, but...
Asher: Then his birthday is January 12th!
me: Because January 12th is in winter?
Asher: Yes.
me: So it's not December 3rd?
Asher: Yes, it's December 3rd.
me: But I thought you said it was January 12th. Most people only have one birthday.
Asher: He has one birthday.
me: On January 12th?
Asher: On December 3rd. Then January 12th.
me: But that's two birthdays.
Asher (rolling his eyes): Maybe I didn't explain it to you very well.
me: Is it one birthday split over two days?
Asher (sighing): No. Let me explain it to you again.
(note: I'm not making this up. This is how he talks now.)
Asher (slowly):His birthday is December 3rd. Then, a little later, in the winter, on January 12th, he has his birthday.
me: Oh I see. (Though, obviously, I don't.)
me: Does he have his birthday one day, but celebrate it later?
Asher (clearly annoyed): NO. His birthday is December 3rd.
me: Then what happens on January 12th?
Asher: That's his birthday!
me: Then what happens on December 3rd?
Asher: Crockies has his birthday.
me: I only have one birthday - March 24th.
Asher: So does Crockies. It's December 3rd.
me: Not January 12th?
Asher (sighing again): I guess I'm not explaining it very well.
me: I think you're doing fine... I'm just not understanding it very well.
Asher: It's easy daddy. His birthday is on December 3rd. Then... later... because his birthday is in the winter... January 12th is his birthday.
me: Oh. (I'm still pretty lost.)
Asher: Do you get it now?
me: His birthday is December 3rd. His birthday is January 12th.
Asher (excitedly): YES!
I never knew post-modern relativism was taught at his day care.
4 Comments:
You missed the point. His birthday THIS year is in December, but because his birthday is in the winter, next year his birthday is in January. Or something like that.
Believe it or not, I actually DID pursue this line of reasoning with him a few minutes later. He said something like "Well... maybe..."
Hurrah for multiple birthday observances. Dr. Sharon McCathern (unpublished discussion, 1981) insisted on "taking half-birthdays." Obviously Asher has surpassed his mentor, arguing it seems for more than two observances.
When is Asher just going to start his own blog so he can explain these theories to the world? Also, is he on facebook yet? I haven't had a good debate with him for years.
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